Attn E. Musk

 

Elon Musk sent an outrageous, degrading, disturbing, and ominous email to federal employees with the subject line, “What did you do last week?”

 

“Please reply to this email with approx. 5 bullets of what you accomplished last week and cc: your manager. Please do not send any classified information, links, or attachments. Deadline is Monday at 11:59pmEST.”

Intimidation and the threat of termination are clearly the intent of this cruel tactic. Thousands of federal employees have already been fired or are under the threat of being fired without just cause or recourse.

No doubt thousands of Trump supporters voted themselves out of jobs. I find it rather more difficult to pity them, than to sympathize with the other victims who had the good sense to not vote for Trump.

I’m lucky to not be in their position. And it’s a good thing because my response to this unprecedented and unjustified demand would be something like this:

 

Attn Mr. Co-dictator, Supreme Chancellor, Oligarch Overseer, Prefect of Political Purges and Purification, (or whatever title you hold,) Musk,

Thank you for your interest in my profession.

Since you are not my supervisor, and you may very likely not be qualified to evaluate my job performance, would you please forward me your resume summarizing your expertise in my field?

It is apparent you do not fully understand my duties, nor do you adequately comprehend the nature of yours.

After reviewing the list of those you have fired, it has become clear that you have negatively impacted our Constitutional provisions for the general welfare and common defense.

You fired 400 maintenance and other technicians within the Federal Aviation Administration, the essential agency that assures aviation safety for the American people. This action, along with similarly misconceived politicized dismissals at the Center for Disease Control, Department of Education, and National Institutes of Health, directly undermine important Constitutional provisions for the general welfare of the American people.

Summarily firing vital staff at the National Nuclear Security Administration was an impulsive and ill-considered measure that weakened of our common defense.

Slashing the employees at the IRS interferes with our Constitutional taxation and reduces vital revenues that sustain government services for the people of the United States. Many of us see it as no coincidence that this also makes it far easier for the economic elites to cheat the rest of us by not paying their fair share of taxes. 

How many millions of our tax dollars go to you again, Mr. Musk?

And who would profit by dismantling the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau that has returned $20 billion to the American consumer? Wouldn't that be the Wall Street banks and tech billionaires like you moving into financial services, Mr. Musk? But we're supposed to trust your judgement whether there is a conflict of interest, so it's all fine.

While you demand accountability from everyone but Trump and his loyal cronies, you fired Inspectors General who identified $183.5 billion in waste, fraud, and abuse, only to mistake $8 million for $8 billion.

In considering your lack of foresight, callous negligence, and egregious lapses of judgment, it would be incumbent upon any reasonable and honest American to question your patriotism, qualifications and competence, sir. 

If it were up to me, I’d have to say, “Mr. Musk, you and your inept, unvetted, and unqualified geek squad are FIRED!” 

Also, answering to you, and responding to your email are not in my job description.

Please see the Department of the Interior’s standardized position descriptions at its website.