“Only One America News”

 

In an effort to present both sides of important issues that divide our country, I’d like to share some of my well-known liberal generosity of spirit.

I’ve decided to offer something for everyone.  After all, I’m a uniter, not a divider. I’m the Only One to fairly present the news you all can use.

Welcome to “Only One America News”, where you choose, or you snooze.

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News Flash!

Philip Bump, Washington Post

The invisible crime wave that’s sweeping the nation!

Much of the political conversation at the moment centers on one particular false belief: that millions of ballots in the 2020 election were cast illegally.

This belief takes many forms, from the assumption that somehow thousands of fraudulent ballots were simply injected into state totals or that countless individual voters cast ballots multiple times or that thousands of people voted who weren’t legally allowed to. Whatever the manifestation of the fraud it’s always the case that the belief precedes the proof for the simple reason that proof of such claims doesn’t exist....

...Republicans have been convinced that fraud is rampant and a serious threat to American democracy. In YouGov polling conducted for the Economist, more than three-quarters of Republicans said they believed millions of illegal votes were cast in last year’s election. Millions! By contrast, about 265,000 houses were burgled in 2019. Yet, somehow, despite occurring several times more often, there’s no actual evidence of even hundreds of votes having been illegally cast. Despite the best efforts of America’s most brilliant bedding manufacturers, the proof remains elusive.

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OK. That was mind numbingly boring, wasn’t it? Nothing but dull facts. Real American News is supposed to be entertaining, or at least emotionally stimulating. as in inducing anger towards someone to blame for everything.

That’s enough from the commie liberal fake news enemies of the people!

Time now for a fair and balanced, patriotic Real American Radical Right Trump/Q-Anon News Flash!

Socialist Democrat Communist Party Crime Wave Sweeping the Nation!

Q-Anon and Trump insist the election was stolen by millions of illegal votes!

Socialist Judges and Commie Democrats deviously denied the Pillow Guy, the Best Lawyers, drunken witnesses, and Rudy the lawyer with the revoked license to practice law just because he lies.

In other Radical Right Trump/Q-Anon News, the Trump Family Cartel had nothing to do with the peaceful January 6th “Special Conservatives Only Tourist Day”.

This peaceful protest was held following the extra-special, exclusive, preliminary, “large family” reconnaissance tours for Real Americans that were kindly hosted by True Patriot Lauren Boebert and other Republican Representatives.

Every true patriot was so excited! Real Americans will finally have their voices heard! A festive joy was in the air. The big day was finally here. Capitol tour guide Boebert tweeted, “Today is 1776”.

Yes, if you’re like me, you get a tingle up your spine at her lofty patriotic tweet. We all knew what she meant when she told us, "Ted Cruz is an American hero and patriot! On January 6, we're both going to be fighting for freedom!"

Let’s review this outstanding celebration of American democracy, one that will go down in history as Trump’s greatest achievement in making America great.

Our most wise, truthful and loving Dear Leader’s invitation went out on twitter: “Be there, will be wild! Stop The Steal!”

And so, America’s True Patriots flocked to Washington DC.

Don Jr. proclaimed, “This isn't their Republican Party anymore. This is Donald Trump's Republican Party!"

Rudy the lawyer with the revoked license to practice law urged, “Let's have trial by combat!”

On election day, long before the votes were counted, Rudy the lawyer with the revoked license to practice law was the first person to advise the President.

“Just say we won.”

That settled it. Never mind all the votes that shouldn’t be counted anyway. Trump and his loyal lieutenants immediately pressured states to stop the count while he was ahead.

Fair is fair.

Dear Leader demanded the disloyal Georgia RINO Republican Brad Raffensperger to follow his just and reasonable command. “All I want to do is this. I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have.”

He even gave him fair warning that he was guilty of a criminal offense by disobeying. “But the ballots are corrupt. And you are going to find that they are — which is totally illegal, it is more illegal for you than it is for them because, you know what they did and you’re not reporting it. That’s a criminal, that’s a criminal offense. And you can’t let that happen. That’s a big risk to you and to Ryan, your lawyer.”

Even after this compassionate warning, the treacherous RINO chose to betray our Leader.

It was clear that measures needed to be taken by Real Americans.

It was time to save America and stop the steal. A “Stop the Steal” rally and a “Save America March” was the way to do it.

Many of our Best People met at Trump’s hotel the night before the rally.

True Patriot Proud Boys were there. Real American Oath Keepers were there.

Other guests included Donald Trump Jr., Eric Trump, Michael Flynn, Peter Navarro, Corey Lewandowski, 2016 Trump campaign manager David Bossie, 2016 Trump deputy campaign manager Adam Piper, executive director of the Republican Attorneys General Association, Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville, Michael the Pillow Guy Lindell, and Rudy Giuliani, personal attorney to the President of the United States and lawyer with the revoked license to practice law just because he lies.

It was to be a glorious rally and peaceful march to stop the steal and save America. (Until antifa and BLM showed up to overturn the election.)

Trump’s own words prove he had nothing to do with the assault on the Capitol. He merely told his mob of True Patriots:

"We're going to walk down Pennsylvania Ave ... and we're going to try and give our Republicans -- the weak ones because the strong ones don't need any of our help -- we're to try and give them kind of pride and boldness that they need to take back our country...so let’s walk down Pennsylvania Ave.”

“All of us here today do not want to see our election victory stolen by emboldened radical left Democrats, which is what they’re doing and stolen by the fake news media.... Our country has had enough. We will not take it anymore and that’s what this is all about. To use a favorite term that all of you people really came up with, we will stop the steal. We will not let them silence your voices. We’re not going to let it happen. Not going to let it happen.”

The crowd chanted, “Fight for Trump! Fight for Trump! Fight for Trump!”

“We want to go back, and we want to get this right because we’re going to have somebody in there that should not be in there and our country will be destroyed, and we’re not going to stand for that. For years, Democrats have gotten away with election fraud and weak Republicans, and that’s what they are.”

“Something’s wrong here. Something’s really wrong. Can’t have happened. And we fight. We fight like Hell and if you don’t fight like Hell, you’re not going to have a country anymore. Our exciting adventures and boldest endeavors have not yet begun. My fellow Americans for our movement, for our children and for our beloved country and I say this, despite all that’s happened, the best is yet to come. So we’re going to, we’re going to walk down Pennsylvania Avenue...and we’re going to the Capitol and....we’re going to try and give our Republicans, the weak ones, because the strong ones don’t need any of our help, we’re going to try and give them the kind of pride and boldness that they need to take back our country.”

“We fight like Hell and if you don’t fight like Hell, you’re not going to have a country anymore.”

Our Dear Leader’s patriotic, inspirational and unifying message will be honored by every future historian. All his best words will be carved in marble in the big beautiful Trump Memorial, towering over the Washington Monument.

January 6th will become the greatest holiday in America.

But we’ll have to wait for the honor of remembering America’s greatest president.

Everything was going great for a few hours that winter day at the Capitol.

The President was reported to have watched his own reality show on TV with delight. He had no reason to listen to those killjoys who urged him to do something to stop his mob of true patriots.

He had the National Guard given special instructions to lay low and go easy on the True Patriots.

But something went disastrously wrong. How could it be? The disloyal military didn’t join in. Many of the socialist Capitol cops didn’t cooperate.

Tragically, the mob of True Patriots failed to stop the steal. They failed to hang Mike Pence. They failed to hang Nancy Pelosi. They failed to take our country back.

It was the darkest day in the history of our democratic republic and Constitutional rule of law. The government betrayed our Dear Leader. Pence, the House and the Senate did their Constitutional duty At 2:24, after the Capitol was breached, the president tweeted his disappointment. "Mike Pence didn't have the courage to do what should have been done to protect our Country and our Constitution."

So after the longest day in the radical Right’s righteous war on democracy, the Greatest Law and Order President consoled his loyal gang of vandals, felons, thugs, racists, white nationalists, Q-Anon true believers, Proud Boys, Nazis, Oath Keepers, Klansmen, and assorted radical Right terrorists from the military and law enforcement.

The stable genius comforted his faithful and True Patriots with his soothing words. “We had an election that was stolen. It was a landslide. But you have to go home now...we love you, you're very special."

The Real American True Patriots were told to “Remember this day forever” and went home.

All was not lost. The Party of Trump obediently stood against the Constitution and treacherous socialist impeachment, and renewed their loyalty to their Dear Leader.

But sadly, it was not enough...

The radical left socialist Democrats stole the House, Senate and White House!!

And then the evil commies destroyed America. Just like they did when Obama the Kenyan Marxist was president. Yeah, that’s it. That’s what happened.

And besides, it was really BLM and antifa who stormed the Capitol, because they wanted to overturn the election their guy won. It just makes sense.

And why would Republicans want to investigate BLM and antifa to hold them accountable?

I mean, really.

But let us not despair.

Let’s urge every Real American and True Patriot to keep the faith. As Mike Flynn, Roger Stone and our Q-Anon Shaman say together, “Where We Go One We Go All!”