Generalizations Galore

For some reason or another, conservative Republicans are often accused of generalizations, divisiveness, simplistic bumper sticker ideas, slogans, blanket statements, and exclusiveness. I happen to believe they are within their First Amendment rights to freely speak any of their wrongheaded notions, as long as they don’t threaten, slander, or libel.

We all fondly remember one of my favorite generalizations from Sarah (The-Quitter-In-Lipstick) Palin, telling us who the “Real Americans” are.

They DO seem to generalize quite a bit, don’t they? Well if THEY can do it, why can’t I? Let me give it a try.

Not every Republican is an uninformed Alaskan Governor who quits, but every uninformed Alaskan Governor who quits is a Republican.

Hey, this is kinda fun! Let’s generalize some more.

Not every Republican is a racist, but every racist votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a bigot, but every bigot votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a Wall Street swindler, but every Wall Street swindler votes Republican.

Not every Republican is an ignorant believer in Obama’s foreign birth, but every ignorant believer in Obama’s foreign birth votes Republican.

Not every Republican is an ignorant believer in “Death Panels”, but every ignorant believer in “Death Panels” votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a war-mongering Neocon, but every war-mongering Neocon votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a war profiteering corporatist, but every war profiteering corporatist votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a cold blooded mercenary killer, but every cold blooded mercenary killer votes Republican.

Not every Republican is an abusive law enforcement officer, but every abusive law enforcement officer votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a window smashing Tea Bagger, but every window smashing Tea Bagger votes Republican.

Not every Republican is an assassin of legal abortion providers, but every assassin of legal abortion providers votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a killer of innocent Unitarians, but every killer of innocent Unitarians votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a Klansman, but every Klansman votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a Bible thumping hypocrite, but every Bible thumping hypocrite votes Republican.

Not every Republican is against public education, but everyone against public education votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a greedy millionaire, but every greedy millionaire votes Republican.

Not every Republican is an anti-science climate change denier, but every anti-science climate change denier votes Republican.

Not every Republican believes the Earth is six thousand years old, but everyone who believes the Earth is six thousand years old votes Republican.

Not every Republican believes creationism should be taught in public schools, but everyone who believes creationism should be taught in public schools votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a democracy-hating Reich Wing ideologue, but every democracy-hating Reich Wing ideologue votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a brainless Limbaugh loving dittohead, but every brainless Limbaugh loving dittohead votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a fool who believes Obama hates and wants to destroy America, but every fool who believes Obama hates and wants to destroy America votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a brainless Beck loving Beckerhead, but every brainless Beck loving Beckerhead votes Republican.

Not every Republican believes progressives are a cancer on America, but everyone who believes progressives are a cancer on America votes Republican.

Not every Republican is an idiot who believes liberals are communists, but every idiot who believes liberals are communists votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a Fox-indoctrinated puppet, but every Fox-indoctrinated puppet votes Republican.

Not every Republican is against public health care, but everyone against public health care votes Republican, or with Republicans, or...Wait a minute. EVERY Republican is against public health care.

Never mind.

Wow. Maybe there’s a little Republican in me after all. So who says Republicans aren’t inclusive in their big tent?

Naughty, Naughty

Despite my number of years on this Earth and in this country, and despite my experiences with some marginally, and not so marginally, outlaw fringes of our society, I must admit something. I am rather a bit of a square.

Yes, I admit, before last year, I never had a clue what “teabagging” was. I’m a coffee drinker anyway.

And though I’ve spent many, many hours observing aquatic flora and fauna while using a mask to see and a snorkel to breathe, I apparently still don’t know what “snorkeling” is.

Eric Massa (D-NY) announced his resignation from the House of Representatives over what? Tickle fights? Well, ok, maybe it’s good we don’t have such dreadful violence in our halls of government when we have the urgency of pointless cruel wars to wage and a world to militarily dominate.

I guess it’s more important for us to be outraged that an individual might be in bed with someone against our approval.

After all, this kind of distraction is very important to a corporate media that would rather spend countless hours and pages of print on tantalizing trivia, than discuss the topic of an entire government in bed with Wall Street and insurance corporations.

Thank goodness we have all those radical right politicians to tell us what this shocking lapse of decency means. I saw House of Representative Reich Wing leader John Boehner demanding a thorough investigation into who knew what and when about what and when and how and where and why and who Massa did, however and whatever he did. After all, Boehner is only trying to protect the high ethical standards of Congress, you know.

Sean Hannity dutifully gave cover with his assertion that it, “...Looks like this is only the latest instance of intimidation to come from the Obama White House."

Meanwhile Republican hetero-scoundrels John Ensign and David Vitter remain in office to dictate morality to the rest of America. This is in addition, of course, to protecting the high ethical standards of the Senate.

As we take comfort in Republicans maintaining our government’s upstanding behavior, we need someone to guide and enlighten the rest of us in this time of national moral distress.

Enter Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck.

First we behold Rush’s eloquent conservatism and racial sensitivity in colorful display as he explained the political ramifications and complexities of Massa’s vacant House seat.

"So, David Paterson will become the massa who gets to appoint whoever gets to take Massa's place. So, for the first time in his life, Paterson's gonna be a massa."

Now, if any of you liberals out there see anything racist in this, it only proves Rush was right when he said, “Liberals are the racists.” Liberals are so racist, they see racism everywhere, even in Rush. He’s got us there, doesn’t he?

Next up we have the mighty Beckerhead himself, fresh from defending the innocent against Socialist, Marxist, Fascist churches with their social and economic justice agendas. On his radio show, Beck stated: "I beg you, look for the words 'social justice' or 'economic justice' on your church website. If you find it, run as fast as you can. Social justice and economic justice, they are code words."

Hmm, code words, as in, “fair and balanced” means both right wing AND radical right?

After cautioning us against the horrible iniquities of church-driven social and economic justice, Glenn was going to bring the hammer down on the sinister Democratic Party with the help of Eric Massa. Glenn devoted the entire hour of his TV show for an interview with Massa. He was about to blow the lid off the entire ring of moral turpitude in the Democratic Party. He had just the guy to break open the inside story.

The irony was, while attempting to frame the crooked Democrats, Beck actually got Massa to blurt out the REAL reason behind the corruption in DC. Massa told him campaign finance reform was the first step needed to combat corruption.

Beck ignored this, of course. Instead he apologized for “wasting” our time. Thanks for the groundbreaking journalism there, Glenn. But fear not, even when wasting our time our hero genius still offers us a very valuable lesson.

"You cannot lie to the American people for very long unless you're really good."

Yes, it takes one to know one, eh, Glennie?

So, thanks to our Reich Wing heroes and the corporate media, America can rest easy in our moral certainty and enjoy the show.

Naughty is naughty, but corruption is business as usual. No story there.

"Ever Wondered"

Oh, boy, another stupid conservative forward. Bring ‘em on.

****

ORIGINAL MESSAGE:

Subject: What side of the fence?

If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

Lot of truth here!

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn’t buy one.If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".

Well I forwarded it to you so where does that put me?

Kathryn Boyd Stakelin

****
You know me; I just have to return the favor and send these forwards back with my complimentary clarifications.

REALITY ADJUSTED MESSAGE:


Subject: What side of the fence?

If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!
(A test has questions about facts. This is a sanctimonious lecture.)

Lot of truth here!
(A lot of BS here.)

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn’t buy one.If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
(Many of my liberal friends and I have firearms.)
(It’s not the guns we don’t like, it’s the murder. Remember the slaughtered Tennessee Unitarians?)

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
(Name just ONE of these people, please.)

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
(A gay conservative is very lonely and shuts up to avoid the hatred and judgment of peers.)
(Both gay liberals and gay conservatives want equal rights.)

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
(A conservative will still gladly accept that “socialist” unemployment or Social Security check.)

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.
(This is what Rush “Liberals Hate America” Limbaugh told you, right?)

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!
(Liberals want religion out of government policy, not silenced.)
(So Christianity is a Native American religion? The country’s first Bibles were brought here by foreigners.)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
(I didn’t know conservatives went “shopping” for ambulances and emergency rooms.)
(And good luck on that health care providing job you “choose”.)

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".
(Really? So why am I laughing at this nonsense?)

Well I forwarded it to you so where does that put me?

Kathryn Boyd Stakelin

*****

Since I can't help the fact I have such compassion for conservatives, I thought I would return their kindness with a friendly response as well.

To Kathryn Boyd Stakelin and her sheeple:


If a conservative wants to form and share an opinion, he’ll just repeat stupid slogans.
If a liberal wants to form and share an opinion, he’ll read and seek information himself.

A conservative thinks Big Business should run the government.
A liberal thinks government should regulate Big Business.

A conservative SAYS he is a Christian, but tells the poor they are on their own.
A liberal may, or may not, be a Christian, but supports a safety net for those whose jobs are sent overseas by rich Republicans.

A conservative always sides with the rich and powerful.
A liberal Jesus said, ‘Sell what you have and give to the poor.”

A conservative wants MORE tax breaks for the rich.
A liberal Jesus said, “Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's.”

A conservative supported Bush’s lies and his war on Iraq, and called liberals unpatriotic.
A liberal Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” A conservative Pope also opposed the war.

“A liberal will delete it because he's "offended",” is yet another presumptuous and incorrect statement.
A conservative will more likely be offended and angry after reading this.

Maybe this presents a better picture of just where the fence is.

Well Kathryn, you forwarded this, so we know where that puts you.
Well I think for myself and I responded to this, so where does that put me?

"Centrist" America

As any non-kool-ade-drinking observer would see over the past years, the US Government has drifted radically to the right. The right wing, Big Money, Neocon interests of the past three decades have given us two corporate influenced parties to run our, or should I say THEIR, government.

The present Democratic Party occupies the same part of the political spectrum as the Republicans did just over thirty years ago. And now the Republican Party is the party of Palin, Limbaugh and Cheney. Need I say more?

The shift rightward, with its accompanying recession, job losses, deficits and debt, has been moving our country to the precipice of a morally and fiscally bankrupt fascist police state. Some would say we are already there. And for some, that would be true. There’s a growing list of persons and organizations that have been illegally detained and put under warrantless surveillance.

“Whoa, there”, says the image of a reeling conservative mentality in my reality based imagination. “We have a liberal president and liberals in the majorities of both the House and Senate. We have liberal media giving the liberals a pass all the time.”

“Whoa, there, back at you,” says my reality based mind. Obama and the Democrats have been operating, from the very beginning, from a center-right position.

TARP was a continuation of Bush/Cheney policy.

The Stimulus Bill was a package that common sense conservative economists agreed was needed. Republican politicians who opposed the bill and denounced it as “pork laden” are now hypocritically posing for photo ops, with the big checks, boasting about creating jobs and stimulating the economy in their districts.

Democrats entered the health care debacle without even suggesting the liberal idea of Medicare for all. Obama has advanced Bush’s belligerent foreign policy, and bought into the insane “war of necessity” crap to the extent that even Dick Cheney agrees with him on Afghanistan.

So maybe now you are getting my point. The Democratic Party is NOT a liberal party. It is nearly as corporate owned as the Republican Party. I can easily show how less than half of the Democrats in Washington are liberal. In fact they are no more liberal than the corporate media that says they are liberal.

No wonder Americans are so confused. It all goes back to the radical Right’s successful propaganda program indoctrinating the people with the idea of “liberal media”. Right, the media is so liberal; Dick Cheney is invited over and over again to spew his evil swill as if he were an honest and credible person.

Now, that’s not all we can observe about that liberal media. I was having a perfectly good Sunday morning when I came upon an article in the New York Times. Yes, that same liberal entity that unquestioningly fed us the Neocon lies about Saddam’s WMD’s and Iraq’s ties to al-Qaeda, the same liberal voice sabre-rattling about the “threat” from Iran. As I’ve said, corporate media loves sensationalism and war is sensational.

“Well, what is it THIS time?” One may ask.

The headline read, “Wary Centrists Posing Challenge in Health Care Vote.”

Ahh, we learn centrists are the ones “wary” of the health care bill. I guess that would imply only liberals think we actually need to do something about health care.

Please enlighten me, oh great beacon of Liberalism.

The future of President Obama’s health care overhaul now rests largely with two blocs of swing Democrats in the House of Representatives — abortion opponents and fiscal conservatives — whose indecision signals the difficulties Speaker Nancy Pelosi faces in securing the votes necessary to pass the bill.

I see. Abortion opponents and fiscal conservatives are now “centrists”.

Compared to what? Just how in the hell of American politics are conservatives “centrists”? I guess that makes fiscal moderates actually tax and spend liberals.

But wait, there’s more.

Representative Dennis Cardoza, Democrat of California, typifies the speaker’s challenge. The husband of a family practice doctor, he is intimately familiar with the failings of the American health care system. His wife “comes home every night,” he said, “angry and frustrated at insurance companies denying people coverage they have paid for.

But as a member of the centrist Blue Dog Coalition, Mr. Cardoza is not convinced that Mr. Obama’s bill offers the right prescription. It lacks anti-abortion language he favors, and he does not think it goes far enough in cutting costs. So while he voted for the House version — “with serious reservations,” he said — he is now on the fence.

Cardoza is intimately familiar with the failings of the health care system, but it’s more important to kiss up to the anti-choice crowd. A fetus’ rights take priority over millions of sick and injured Americans. And not going far enough in cutting costs is better than not cutting costs at all, right?

Sounds pretty centrist, eh?

What else do we learn about centrists from the pro-war corporate media?

Representative Frank Kratovil Jr., Democrat of Maryland, is also unconvinced. He voted against the House bill on the grounds that it is too big and too costly — a view that some constituents in his Republican-leaning district share. In case he did not get the message, one of them hanged him in effigy this past summer outside his district office on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.

“This system is broken; we have to do something,” Mr. Kratovil said. “But my preference would be to do smaller things.”

Gee, Frank, is it really too big and too costly, or are you just a wee bit terrorized and threatened by your conservative constituents? You don’t have to answer, I understand. I do wonder, though, if our health care system is broken, if it is so vast that it consumes one-sixth of our economy, as our conservatives like to point out; how on God’s green Earth do you fix it with “smaller things”?

This idea of “centrism” we are being fed sure sounds a lot like conservatism to me. Americans are being indoctrinated by very powerful economic forces. The corporatist media and their enablers have been shifting the entire playing field for a long time.

Is it really any wonder, even IF we had a liberal in the White House, the bought-and-paid-for US Government has become such an engine of empire and corporate profiteering?

“Wait a minute”, the conservative mentality speaks out in one more challenge. “You said you can easily show how less than half of the Democrats in Washington are liberal.”

Yes, how could I say such a radical thing? Well, it turns out there was another bit of news in the corporate media this Sunday.

The Associated PressSaturday, February 27, 2010; 9:08 PM

WASHINGTON -- President Barack Obama has signed a one-year extension of several provisions in the nation's main counterterrorism law, the Patriot Act.
Provisions in the measure would have expired on Sunday without Obama's signature Saturday.

The act, which was adopted in the weeks after the Sept. 11, 2001 terror attacks, expands the government's ability to monitor Americans in the name of national security.
Three sections of the Patriot Act that stay in force will:

-Authorize court-approved roving wiretaps that permit surveillance on multiple phones.
-Allow court-approved seizure of records and property in anti-terrorism operations.
-Permit surveillance against a so-called lone wolf, a non-U.S. citizen engaged in terrorism who may not be part of a recognized terrorist group.
Obama's signature comes after the House voted 315 to 97 Thursday to extend the measure.

The Senate also approved the measure, with privacy protections cast aside when Senate Democrats lacked the necessary 60-vote supermajority to pass them. Thrown away were restrictions and greater scrutiny on the government's authority to spy on Americans and seize their records.

Let’s see. That would be 255 Democrats and 178 Republicans in the House. Even if every “no” vote was by a Democrat, 97 is far less than half no matter how the Senate vote breaks down.

And the Torture Club founders Bybee, Yoo and Cheney remain free men. We are still in Bush/Cheney’s war-loving Neocon “Centrist” America.